Conversation Techniques to Building Deeper Relationships

My dad ordered a book and we received it a week after he passed away. It was called Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Dr. Martin Seligman.  FLOURISH - what a perfect word to sum up the life my dad wanted to live. He was all about looking at life through "positive" eyes. And even with all his health issues, he chose to live a life full of joy, full of enjoyment, full of laughter....just full!

I read this book and it was so powerful. Part practical wisdom, part self-help with a lot of scientific studies to back it up. It was slow going for me (felt like I was back in college studying), but I was able to pull out many helpful gems that both reinforced my focus on a joy-filled life and opened my eyes to several new things.

One of the most interesting things I learned was... how we respond in conversations can strengthen or weaken our relationships.

How to deepen a relationship with one Conversation Technique.

When people we care about tell us about a victory, triumph or good thing that happened to them, how we respond can build the relationship or undermine it.

• Active/Constructive  Acknowledge, be excited for them, celebrate with them. Ask questions so they relive the moment with you.
  Non-verbal: Smiling, Enthusiasm.
  
  
• Passive/Constructive  Passively say, 'that's nice'. No further interaction or conversation.
  Non-verbal: Little to no active emotional expression.
  
  
• Active/Destructive  Critical, negative words, pessimistic, find the fault or potential downside in the victory.
  Non-verbal: Display negative emotions, frowning.
  
  
• Passive/Destructive  No acknowledgement of the success/victory, change subject.     
  Non-verbal: no eye contact, leave room, etc.

I've been trying it. Such a great difference.

Have a Joy-filled week!  Love, Steph

Dirt & Beauty & Rain

I lost my mom a few months ago after a long battle with Alzheimer's. I only got glimpses of her during the last few years, but her optimism and positive spirit continued to reveal itself until the very end.  She liked to encourage everyone she met and you couldn't help but feel better after you spoke with her. 

Losing her left a space in my heart that no one else can fill. She was my biggest cheerleader—always believing in me, even when I couldn’t see my own potential. Her words of encouragement echo in my mind during the toughest days, reminding me to keep going, to trust myself, and to be kind. She had this way of making me feel like I could do anything, and even now, I find strength in her unwavering faith in me.

She always loved that I created my art to help encourage others. And though it's been very tough these past months, I know she's up in heaven now, completely cured and spreading joy to everyone she meets.  

I finally felt inspired again and have been in the studio painting like crazy. I miss her deeply, but I carry her love and support with me always. Thanks mom for continuing to encourage me.

You are Capable!

 Recently my sweet cousin sent me a quote that encouraged me
during a stressful time in my life. 

When you're focused on a tough situation, it's too easy to forget that
you are more than capable. You got this!

It made such a difference and inspired me to create my latest piece.

Remember... You are Capable of Amazing Things!

The Real Secret to a Fabulous Life

Storms, Rainbows and the Best View

The Greater Your Storms
The Brighter Your Rainbows

 

Grow Through what you Go Through

Do you sometimes get paralyzed with the thought of making a mistake?

Why did I do this?
Why is this happening? 
I never do anything right!

Let yourself off the hook and change your way of thinking. Instead of beating yourself up, look for ways you can learn, grow, and improve as you move forward.

 Fail Forward - acceptance of failure as a stepping stone to future success.
You choose to respect each failure for the lessons it teaches you,
and to apply those lessons to future efforts.  John Maxwell

 There is no innovation and creativity without failure.  Brene Brown

I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that don't work.  Thomas Edison

 

Why You Need to Retreat from your World

Think about a place or time in your life where you got to get away from it all?
A time where you could think.
A time where you could breathe.

Was it the beach?
Was it the mountains?
Was it your own back yard? 
Or just having the house to yourself?

In a Mel Robbins podcast I recently listed to, they used a phrase that struck me.

"We need to think of rest as a right, not a reward."

Throughout our life, we're taught, once you get your work done (homework, chores, cleaning, errands, whatever...), then you can take a break. 
What happens, more often than not, is we NEVER get our work done.
There's ALWAYS something that needs to be done.

What if we switched our mindset and scheduled in the relaxing time, the quiet time, the fun time, the I don't want to think about anything time?
Giving yourself actual space and time to recharge.

Give yourself a Place to Retreat;
where the World Grows Quiet enough for your Soul to Speak.

Retreat

It's Not the End

 We tend to look at life from a very narrow perspective - seeing only what's right in front of us. 

Wondering if a problem will ever end. 

Will I get through this? 

Pain. Grief. Sadness. Loss. Stress. 

Not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It helps to remember that problems are temporary and that everything will ultimately work out.

But often it's not the timing we hope for.  

 

Everything will be alright in the end.  If it's not alright, it is not the end.

It's not the end. You got this.

Having the Strength to Let Go

I have a friend who's been struggling the last several years - caught up in the past and having a hard time overcoming all the negative voices and tapes in her head. Feeling she needs to hold onto things, but knowing it's not the healthiest. 

It's been wonderful to see her start to break free from the past - I knew she had
taken some very large steps towards freedom and happiness
when she shared this quote with me....

Strength to Let Go

Give yourself permission to Let Go.

Our Hardest Climbs Can Lead to Our Best Views

per·se·ver·ance

/ˌpərsəˈvirəns/

noun: perseverance

persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success

determination, endurance, stamina, tenacity

 

 

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.
Walter Elliot

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.
Samuel Johnson

Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to,
but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears.
Gillian Anderson
 

You Can Do It!!!

Who Wants to Let Go of Yesterday?

 She let go of Yesterday so her Heart could Find Joy Today.

CreativeSteph13 Etsy Shop

Here's to a happier, healthier and more joyous new year.

Love, Steph (and Sweet Pea)

Better Than You Could Ever Imagine

With the non-stop barrage of negative news, panic filled headlines and empty store shelves, 

it's easy to get caught up in dread and worry.

Let's take a deep breath...

With this "forced" slow down in our lives, we can embrace and enjoy time. 

The time we get to spend with family. 

The time we have not rushing around. 

The time we have just to ourselves. 

We'll get through this, just like every other time we've been faced with a crisis.  

And, if we CHOOSE to look on the bright side, 

CHOOSE to grow our compassion, 

CHOOSE to support each other,

CHOOSE to see what blessings we have, 

CHOOSE to adapt and even thrive in these times, 

it might turn out Better than You Could Ever Imagine.

Original, Prints and Magnets available HERE

Invest in and Encourage Yourself All Year Long

 The New Year is upon us. 

Instead of guilting yourself into resolutions you feel you "should" do, 

how about figuring out ways to encourage yourself all year long?

A To Do List Art Piece that will Make You Happier Every Day

I love To-Do Lists (like that surprises you). I've got lists for everything. There's something about those little check marks that make me feel like I've accomplished something (and that I actually have a little control over my hectic life). But even if you complete your list, it's only for a short time, and you'll only to have more items to complete later on.

So how about a To-Do List that makes you happier every day? 

I put together some of my favorites in a bright mixed media art piece. Focus on these each day and, you can have a life that's full of more joy, and more peace, and whole lot more happiness.

Encourage Someone 

(a compliment, a happy word, people love to be noticed)

Laugh A Lot 

(there's usually something funny - even in the not-so-funny moments)

Try Something New 

(keep learning, be bold, get out of your rut)

Say Thank You 

(such a lost art - if you don't express gratitude, you're expressing ingratitude)

Listen with Your Heart 

(not just your ears, look beneath the surface of the words) 

Enjoy the Little Things

(make a concerted effort to look for moments of joy)

Be Yourself 

(it's exhausting to keep a mask on - put it away and let the real you shine through)

To Do List by CreativeSteph13

Hope you accomplish everything on THIS TO-DO List.

Love, Steph

Blessings From Above - New Art + a little instant gratification

After I wrote about the sweet surprise my dad had for my mom here, I wanted to capture that special feeling and put it on canvas. Something that would remind me of the deeper and long lasting love of family and encourage me to be the type of person who thinks of others and tries to be a blessing in their lives.

 (Even if you have to be a little sneaky - thanks dad!)

So I created this canvas called Blessings from Above.  I love looking at it everyday!

 (I'm trying something new and have added an Instant Digital Download section to my Etsy Shop - that way you can buy art online and download art straight to your computer and print it out yourself - instant gratification - online art - no waiting! ) 

 

Hope you have a blessed week!

Love, Steph

Today is the BEST Day Ever - A Life (and Art Piece) full of Joy

Last year a sweet friend of mine commissioned a piece of art for a friend who was going through some pretty horrible health issues and the future was perilous and unknown.  YET, this man, and his family, had the most wonderful attitude.

Whenever someone asked them, "how are you doing", their reply was always....

Today is the Best Day Ever.

It's easy to be happy when things are going well. Imagine having such a positive attitude, such hope, such a beautiful spirit, that you viewed each day as so special (even when things weren't going well)?

Creating this piece helped remind me of all the joy that is waiting for us, even in the midst of not-so-great circumstances. We get to choose to have that perspective of looking for the good instead of the bad. We get to choose to see the wonder each day, each person, each.....

We all know people who lift us up and are wonderful to be around. 

And we all know people who are the opposite.

What type do we want to be?

Hope today is the Best Day Ever for you!

Love, Steph